Am I in a Healthy Relationship?
There are some things that your partner does that initially seemed cute and endearing, but as the months go on you’ve started to feel uncomfortable and question if these behaviors are healthy or not. Sometimes in the midst of an unhealthy relationship, it can be hard to spot the warning signs and red flags, but this highlights things to look out for that may mean you’re relationship isn’t healthy.
Not Accepting You as You Are
Yes, we are all works in progress. And yes, it’s good to want to be a better version of yourself for your partner. And it’s great when your partner encourages you in the areas you want to grow and change. This could also look like your partner making you feel as though you are only valued for one particular thing such as your look, sex, or how much money you earn. But if your partner nags you about needing to lose weight for them, or you feel like you have to change aspects of your appearance to keep your partner interested in you, then it may be time to say goodbye to the relationship.
Lying
If you keep catching your partner in lies, this pattern could be one of their traits that will not easily go away in the future. “Gaslighting” is a term used for psychological manipulation where one person will cause the other one to doubt their own memory, perception of things in the relationship, and their own experience to the point of feeling like they are crazy. This is a tool that unhealthy individuals use to make their partner doubt themselves so intensely that they will accept whatever the other person says as the sole truth.
Not Having Space
In every healthy relationship, both people feel comfortable and are able to take time apart from each other. This can look like taking a night without your partner and going out with friends, having alone time for you to decompress, or even needing regular time each week to get away and do the things that you love. On the other hand, if your partner feels like they can’t do anything without you from basic tasks (grocery shopping etc.) to social events (parties or family dinners) then this could be a sign that your partner is too dependent on you.
Distrust
If your partner needs to look through your phone and check social media accounts, texts, and your search history then this could be another way of pinpointing some unhealthy aspects in your relationship. If there hasn’t been a history of unfaithfulness in your relationship and your partner still feels distrustful of you to the point of needing to check your phone, then this could be an indicator that you are dating someone who is too controlling.
Isolation
After starting to date your partner, you’ve had less contact with your friends and family to the point that they begin to worry about how you’re doing. You go out with friends less, make excuses of not being able to see family around the holiday, or have less interest in your loved ones. Maybe you spend less time with them because they don’t like your partner or your partner can always find an excuse not to see them, but this is an indication that your relationship is slowly causing you to be isolated from others in your life.
If you find yourself struggling in a relationship, feeling confused, and wondering if it is healthy, you may find it helpful to talk with one of our therapists at Rise Counseling for more insight.
